A couple of minutes ago I was in the shed (at 11.30 at night, not my best idea) trying to find the books I wanted to donate to the apparating library. I found 20 and came back into the house carrying them stacked on top of one another in a big pile. My mum rushed over panicking and tried to take them off me, scared I’d hurt myself. I smiled, told her I was just taking them to my room, and started up the stairs. When I was about halfway up she called my name and I turned around, still holding all the books in my arms. And she said “this is how I’ll remember you” and I said “this is how I’d want to be remembered” and we smiled a little at each other before I carried on into my room. I think that we just had really important moment.
Last night I dreamt that Melissa Anelli put me in a headlock before throwing me through a glass door for not bringing my wheelchair or my medical aid’s confirmation email to Leakycon and now it’s top of my packing list.
Death by Melissa is so not fun.
I am not Heart Failure.
I am Jessica Barker. I am 20 years old. I have a Mother and a Father who try their best and love me regardless. I have an older Brother and a younger Sister who I fight with but would fight harder for. I like reading books and going on adventures with my friends. I have no idea what I want to do when I’m older. Harry Potter is a huge portion of my life. Jo Rowling is my inspiration. I love disney films and make up and even though I know I can’t dance sometimes I like to pretend I can when I’m in my room alone. I make a lot of mistakes, and I learn from them too. I lived in London for 3 years and I miss it so much. I’m going to go back one day. I have no desire to live abroad anymore. I wish I had pretty nails but I always forget to paint them and always bite them. Eyebrows are important. I like wearing dresses and twirling around in them. Bonus points if they have pockets. I’ve met dozens of celebrities on red carpets but the best part was always camping out and meeting new people. I drink my tea with little milk and no sugar. I CAN sing. I don’t admit that often enough. I wish I had more talents, and was prouder of the one I do have. Annie was my favourite film years before I saw it because I just knew. When I finally watched it in 2013 it cemented that fact. I like to be in control of situations. I love writing. I’m going to meet JK Rowling for the 5th time in 2 days and I’m flying to Orlando for my second Leaky con experience in under 2 weeks. Each time I’ve met Jo Rowling has been the joint best day of my life, Leaky con London has been the best consecutive 5 days of my life. I’m really lucky and don’t take no for an answer. I do what I want, if I feel that it’s right, regardless of the circumstance or consequence. My favourite flowers are sunflowers but I love the word daisy more. I drink a lot of diet coke. I have a scar on my chin and a birthmark on my thigh. My eyes are blue and my hair is brown. Though I wish they were green and ginger respectively. This week my favourite Harry Potter characters are Hagrid and Molly Weasley but that will probably change next week. Today I weight 6st 7lb and am 5ft 8in high.
I am all this and a thousand things more. But I am not heart failure.
It’s about time I realised that.